And I know what it means, too." But... I don't deserve it." Bella Gina..." I take a deep breath and look up into her eyes, hoping she will see how much this means to me. I so want to seal this deal. "This is about me as much as it is about you. I want it to be you, but if not, it will be some other girl tonight. But, if I'm going to lick my first fica, I want it to be on the most beautiful girl and the best dancer with the prettiest legs. There is a nice quiet bar across the street. Please?"I think my use of 'bella' and 'fica' impressed her, but 'beautiful' and 'pussy' are powerful words in any language. She senses the power I'm giving to her, the power of rejection. "On one condition, Cindy. I've admired you for so long. I must know why you've..." She pauses, obviously searching for words."Sunk so low?" I see that I've guessed her thinking correctly. I can't explain while standing in front of a bathroom mirror that I'm beginning not to see this the way I once would have. I try to. Much all of them. Og Sheila.’ Green-eyed and gangly with short, black curly hair, Sheila was the tomboy in the class. Her favorite pastime was egging a boy on, then challenging him to a wrestling match. She almost always won. ‘Not me,’ rejoined Michael. ‘They’re all… like um… I dunno. Like kinda weird, actually. Sheila’s okay though. At least she’s, like, more real. I guess.’ ‘You say hallo for me?’ asked Kai. ‘You want me to introduce you? Yeah, I guess I could. But, like, I don’t talk to her much. Why don’t you say ‘hi’ yourself?’ ‘She say something I not begripe… umm, understand, ja?’ opined Kai, his voice trailing off. ‘You tell her. English no so good yet.’ So Michael made the introductions. But nothing could come of it. Kai pinned Sheila to the ground at the very first invitation and she stormed off in a huff. It was a very long time before she acknowledged his presence again and then it was only to call into question the fairness of his tactics. ‘I laere…ehm, learn, ja? I.
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